Good Plant Care

Sunday 15th May 2005 at 23:01

I've never really cared much for houseplants.  I'd quite happily walk by them slurping away at a glass of iced water while they were undoubtedly gasping for a slug [of water].  I remember seeing a Roald Dahl 'Tales Of The Unexpected" TV program where a scientist discovered that plants could communicate and he had a special pair of hearing apparatus that let him hear the noise they made.

It was pure murder when the lawnmower got brought out, I can tell you!

Anyway, I'm now pro-houseplant and it's such a good wee hobby.  It took one half of Optimo to come in and point out the need for re-potting, regular spraying and just a general pile of TLC.  That Mr Wilkes should write a book - he's certainly got me motivated. 

Think about it - there are very few things in life that you have total and complete control over; from it's early development through to it bearing fruit/seeds/flowers and then having offspring.  A plant is completely reliant on you to keep it going.  And it won't puke up on the floor, cover the sofa in hair or do your napper in.  It just sits there and grows.  Apparently their good for cancelling out negative ions or something too. 

I think I may have overbought on the compost though - it was just so fucking cheap.  I guess I need to buy some more plants to use it up.  A shame common-or-garden plant pots are so expensive - the best part of a pint of lager for one the diameter of a 10 inch record.

I'm off to read about growing indoor bananas!!!